I never feel like I have the time for me.
Like, I never have the energy to give back to me.
I never have the resources to pour unconditionally.
I have been lost in serving others.
I have neglected myself.
Tirelessly I have just been carrying on, in the same cycle.
Repetitive, addictive, unsure behavior.
I have lost myself in needing to be loved and seen by others.
I have refused to see myself all because others have refused to see me.
You cannot give more of what is already not appreciated and expect things to change.
Yet, that is exactly what I have been doing.
Endlessly pouring all that I am into other people.
giving, giving, giving.
Never taking. Always faking.
I am trying to find the happy me.
It is time I see me.
It is time I free me, from the expectation of love ya'll could never give me.
It is time I pour into myself, like right now, this instant.
It is time to free myself from the shackles of empty love.
I have been playing on the surface,
losing myself, all while I held my breath.
Knowing damn well I belong somewhere lost in an abyss.
Deep in thought.
Full of creativity.
Selfishly selfish is who I kindly need to become
because if I left it up to you,
you'd take from me
basically everything that I have got.
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