Chaos with Cait

I grew up dreaming of stability. Not wealth. Not success. Just a floor that stayed beneath my feet. For as long as I remember, every house I lived in felt haunted. Not by ghosts, but by addiction, neglect, rage that traveled through walls, and adults who carried storms inside of them. I was a child, learning to read for danger before I learned safety. I listened for footsteps. Measured voices. Studied slammed doors. Home was never a place. It was a question. Would the lights

Some days, survival for me is making the choice to drink water, to breathe deeply and simply do my best to just stay.

For years, I believed the darkness knew my name, trailing behind me like a silent wolf through moonlit woods and restless nights. More than once, I wandered too close to its waiting jaws, feeling its shadows curl around my ankles like roots beneath an ancient forest. I spent countless seasons at war, sword drawn against ghosts only I could see, pleading with the stars above for a dawn that wouldn’t fade. Then one morning, as the sky blushed gold, a quiet truth arrived with th

I spent years starving myself of the love I hungered for the most. I learned to live with the ache of longing, carrying it like a wound I refused to let heal. I poured every ounce of tenderness into loving you believing that if I gave enough, I would finally feel whole. But the love I was searching for, was never yours to give, it was my own. Yet I spent years laying it at your feet, sacrificing myself piece by piece in the name of you.

Your doubt is too small a weapon to pierce my becoming. I rise again, even after the ashes.

She is a waterfall disguised as patience, a mountain wearing softness. The world calls her a contradiction, and yet magic calls her balanced.

Society taught me that shrinking was polite. So now, I choose to be loud, on purpose. I have no desire to fit in, or shape shift to fit into molds. I have a story to tell, and it will be my way that it is told. I am tired of shrinking, sick of second guessing my own voice. Our society needs new diverse voices, and so I bravely share mine.